


Of Wounds and Worries

by messedup



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Canon Divergence, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Little bit of angst, M/M, Worried Callum, also a little bit Ben&Lexi, because I cant believe she wouldnt be there, death mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-19 01:22:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20648885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/messedup/pseuds/messedup
Summary: Callum learns that Ben is back home from hospital and goes to see him.





	Of Wounds and Worries

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Ben x Callum fic and it´s been a long time since I have written anything at all, so please don´t be too hard on me :) Hope you enjoy!

The first thing he feels when Jay tells him that Ben is back home from hospital is worry. Ben had been shot only a week ago. He wonders if he really should have been released so soon. Callum tries to calm his mind by telling himself that the doctors probably know what they´re doing. Still, he can´t shake the last bit of concern. 

Then he remembers the last conversation between Ben and him. Ben´s calm, qiuet voice, asking him out. His small hopeful smile. He had agreed, feeling as if he was about to explode. He doesn´t feel ready to go out on a date in public. His hands become sweaty and his mind races every time he just as much as thinks about it. 

He could barely stand being out in the cafe or the Queen Vic – even walking down the street – these past couple of days with the feeling of everyone staring at him. He wasn´t sure if they actually were, but it felt like there was a spotlight on him, causing him to break out in cold sweat every time someone walked by. Like every single person that crossed his way knew, like everyone was judging him. 

Callum shakes his head pushing the thoughts to the back of his mind.

“I thought you´d wanna know.”, Jay says shifting his weight from one foot to the other. He was standing in front of the park bench Callum had been sitting on for …he doesn´t even know for how long he´s been sitting here, lost in thoughts. Thoughts of Ben, mostly. He´s ready to admit that to himself now, if not quite to anybody else.

“Eh...yeah. Thank you.”, Callum says, clearing his throat awkwardly. He doesn´t look at Jay for longer than is absolutely necessary without seeming rude or like he is ignoring him. 

He feels awful about it, but part of him wants Jay to leave as quickly as possible, because there is no doubt that he knows about Ben and him. And as much as Callum wants to feel like it doesn´t matter that he knows, he isn´t there just yet.

Jay doesn´t walk away though. Instead, he sits down next to him on the bench.

“You know, you could go visit him now. I´m sure he´d wanna see ya.” For a moment Jay just looks at him and Callum finally finds it in him to meet his eyes. He answers with the smallest nod. Standing up, Jay squeezes his shoulder slightly before walking away.

It still takes him a while to gather his courage. Even though a part of him wants to run to Ben as quickly as possible, making sure he really is okay.

When he gets up 20 minutes later he realizes that he must have sat there for much longer than he thought. He suddenly feels the cold wind seeping through his clothes. He burries his hands in his pockets as he walks out of the park.

It´s Kathy who opens the door. She gives him a kind smile and receives an awkward one in return. Callum remembers how she cracked a joke when he came to the hospital to see how Ben was. He had been grateful for her to break the tension in the room and slighty ease the nervous feeling that was threatening to tear him apart from the inside. 

She opens the door wider, inviting him in and as he walks down the hall he hears voices coming from the living room. He recognizes Lola saying something about going home and then there is another voice. Lexi, no doubt. 

Callum enters the room right as Lexi is all but jumping into her fathers arms to say goodbye. Ben lets out a small pained noise, but squeezes his daughter tightly nonetheless. He closes his eyes for a second and Callum remembers everything Ben had said when he was bleeding in his arms. There was no single shred of doubt in his mind that Ben was a great father. He smiled, his nerves forgotten for a moment.

When Ben opens his eyes he´s looking right at Callum. There is the same soft smile building on his face that is burned into Callum´s memory from their last talk. 

“Daddy?”, Lexi says, bringing both their attention back to what´s happening around them. “Can you tell me two stories tomorrow?”

Ben laughs. “I´ll tell you what. How bout one story for every day we missed, huh? Gotta catch up, don´t we?”

Lexi practically beams before throwing her small arms around him once again.

Lola smiles too, holding her hand out for her daughter to take. “Okay, okay, you two! Tomorrow, though. Let´s go, Lexi!” Lexi finally turns around. “And you,” - she points at Ben - “get some rest, yeah?”

“Yeah, yeah, will do.”, he nodds, his hands up in surrender. Lexi waves one last time as they walk past Callum out of the room. Lola smiles at him as she passes him and Lexi is looking at him as well. He can´t quite place the expression on her face and he´s asking himself if she wonders what he´s doing here.

His thoughts soon get interrupted though, because Ben is looking at him from the moment Lola and Lexi are out of sight and he can´t lie, it still takes his breath away whenever Ben is looking at him like that.

“Hey.”, Ben says simply though his voice is full of emotion.

“Hey.”, Callum answers a little breathless, and then after a moment, “How are you?”

He immediately feels stupid, because Ben´s just gotten out of hospital after being shot so what does he expect, really? But Ben just laughs quietly, not much more than a huff of air.

“Good to finally get out of that terrible white hospital gown. Much prefer wearing black.” There´s a half grin on his lips and even though Callum rolls his eyes, he´s glad Ben´s still joking around. He´s kind of missed it. Not that he would admit that.

For a long moment they just look at each other in silence. They´re alone now, Kathy having gone straight into the kitchen with the excuse that she´s in the middle of preparing dinner. Callum suspects that she just wanted to give them some time alone and he blushes slightly at the thought. Though he´s grateful, too.

Ben is the first to break the moment. He gestures for Callum to sit next to him, so he does. His gaze drops to the point on Ben´s chest where he knows the bullet wound to be. The point where not that long ago his hand was pressed down to stop Ben from bleeding to death in his arms. Callum swallows the lump in his throat thinking about it.

Apparently, his thoughts are clearly visible in his expression, because Ben hesitantly raises his hand to his face and carefully tilts his head up to meet his eyes once again. Callum doesn´t flinch when he touches him, doesn´t even worry that they´re not alone in the flat and someone could come in at any time. The only worry he has is Ben. 

“Does it still hurt much?”, he asks so quietly that his voice is barely a whisper. 

“I´m fine as long as I don´t move too much. Maybe call off the bar fights I planned for next week for me, will ya?”, Ben chuckles.

“Stop joking about this, please.” Callum's voice is almost pleading.

To his surprise, Ben´s expression does become more serious at that. He softly strokes his thumb across Callum´s cheek. “Hey, don´t worry. I´m here, right? And this,” - he nodds his head down to the direction of the wound - “it will get better soon and we can forget all about it.”

“I don´t think I could forget what´s happened.”, Callum huffs. Somehow his eyes are wet with tears, though they haven´t made their way down his cheeks yet. He blinks to fight them away. 

Ben doesn´t answer, but tugs at his arm, pulling him forward into a hug. He wraps his arms around him as best as he can with the injury still hurting and just holds him. Callum tries to be as careful as possible so as not to press against the wound when he buries his face in his neck. Somehow his hand finds it's way back into Ben´s hair. The comfort it gives him finally brings a tear to roll down his cheek. At the same time, he feels himself calm down. With Ben so close to him it´s easier to believe that this is real. That he hasn´t lost him.

When they pull back Ben takes Callum's hand and squeezes it sofly. Callum looks down at their hands as he does, but when he turns his gaze back up he can suddenly see how exhausted Ben looks. He really doesn´t want to go, wants to stay with Ben as long as possible, but he remembers what Lola said. He knows Ben needs rest to heal, so he squeezes his hand back once before letting go. 

“I should go, you need to rest.”, he whispers.

Ben doesn´t look too happy at that. “Im fine. You could stay a little longer?”, he asks.

“I can tell you´re tired. And I feel like I should stay on Lola´s good side so no.”, Callum smiles.

Ben pouts, then rolls his eyes. “Fine.” He sighs dissappointedly when Callum gets up from the sofa. "See you soon?"

"Yeah, course.", Callum says with a smile before walking out of the room and closing the door behind him.

The air is cold on his skin as Callum walks back home, especially compared to the warmth of Ben´s arms around him. He smiles to himself thinking about it, though. His phone suddenly buzzes in his pocket and he pulls it out, the display blending him when he reads the message.

Thank you for coming over today x 

His smile grows even wider as he continues down the road.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, hope you liked it! <3
> 
> I would really appreciate any feedback, especially since this is my first Ben x Callum fic! :)


End file.
